Finding What I Lost
by LightofaThousandSuns
Summary: AU short story. For Kiriban winner on dA. Raito never becomes Kira again after some unexpected events take place, and L closes the case & moves on. Will the two ever see each other again? What about their true feelings? Is it love? M for later chapters!
1. Realize This Emotion

A/N: Hi there readers

A/N: Hi there readers! Just a short story I'm in the process of writing for my Kiriban winner on deviantart. Yes, it's sort of an AU, and It's really the first AU I've ever written. There'll be three parts to it, so yes, I'm still working on This Eternity. But please enjoy, and reviews are welcomed!

Oh..disclaimer...um.. I don't own Death Note ( I wish...XD) or Colbie Caillat's song _Realize_. I thought it fit for this chapter, actually. Enjoy!

OooOOOooOOoo

Take time to realize,  
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.  
Take time to realize,  
That I am on your side  
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,  
No it's never gonna be that simple  
No I cant spell it out for you

C: If you just realize what I just realized,  
Then we'd be perfect for each other  
and will never find another  
Just realized what I just realized  
we'd never have to wonder if  
we missed out on each other now

OoOOoOOoooO OoOoOOOO

The bright sunset shone through the hotel window across the small bay. It was quiet in the small room, no loud voices proclaiming anything, no shouts of recognition. Only the sounds of typing on a keyboard could be heard. But then...they instantly stopped.

The raven-haired man stopped the typing after about two hours of poring over case files in the recent murders of the French aristocrats in the vicinity. He let out a small sigh. Sometimes he missed the voices of his former comrades that had aided him on the last case. Just he and Watari could be lonely actually. Years ago, he never minded the peace and quiet. Now, after **that** case, he seemed to have a secret craving for something other than cake or sweets now. He longed for companionship again, especially of a certain someone.

The detective got up from his crouching position and strode over to the wide window. Laughter echoed from the Paris streets below him. Families walking to and from restaurants and parks. Couples holding hands and whispering sweet nothings into each others ears. It was a world he'd never be apart of. But he couldn't long for what he couldn't have, nor did it matter. He was L, nothing as mundane and trivial as love could, or should, pierce through the stone walls he had created when he was a child. Or so that's what he believed for many years. Until recently...

L knew that things had changed for him. He could feel it in his heart. The detective knew that friendship, and dare he admit it, love, were things he wished he could have. There **was** Watari, and he had Mihael, Nate, and Mail at Whammy's House, and though he cared deeply for each of those four men, they weren't the same thing. They just...they just weren't the one person he wished he had hung onto.

L continued to gaze out the window, the Eiffel Tower was simply amazing, simply beautiful against the glowing sunset. That sunset..it was the same type of clear sunset that was in the Japan sky the day the Kira case had ended.

_That case certainly did not turn out how I expected..._ L pondered, reminiscing over the past few months.

It certainly didn't turn out how L expected. They were about to arrest Higuchi when something terrible happened. Higuchi had placed his Death Note in the trunk of his convertible, but had kept one lone page next to him on the seat. As the NPA came to arrest him, unbeknownst to L, he had one final move up his sleeve.

The Yotsuba boss smirked, and grabbed a pen from his pocket, making sure it worked. The officers began to shout for the man to come out of his car, but he refused. He'd come this far, and if he was about to go down, it was going to be with a bang. Higuchi began to write on the sheet that was on the plush seat beside him.

Rem, the shinigami possessing him, asked him what he was doing.  
"Writing one last name before this is over." He whispered  
"Who?" The female death god asked.  
"Just someone else who will die." He said with a smirk, and when Rem saw the name, rage and shocked engulfed her.

_Misa A-_ No! how could he?! But Rem knew how. Misa had appeared to them before, and he was just killing her because she was an innocent party. Her death would shock and stun the police, and they'd regret catching him. But her name wasn't fully written yet.

More shouts came from Sochirou and Aizawa for Higuchi to step out of the car, yet he only had a few more letters to write, so he continues. But instantly, Rem whips out her own Death Note to write the man who is about to kill the one human she cares most about. But it is too late...

Higuchi finishes Misa Amane's name at the same time Rem finishes his. As if on cue, the death god vanishes into a pile of dust, knowing that she failed Misa. She tried, but it came too late.

The next forty seconds pass quickly. Tired of waiting, the NPA force open Higuchi's car, and drag the thirty-something man from the vehicle, who is smirking the whole time. Seconds later, he screams as he is dying of a heart-attack. But, he finds the strength to do one last thing. Detonate a bomb that he'd attached to his car nights before, in case something along the lines of this happened. Chaos surrounds the scene as the man collapses to the ground, and his car goes up in flames and explosions.

"R-Ryuzaki! Higuchi is- He-the-car!" Sochirou Yagami stutters.  
Raito and L stare from the helicopter as the scene unfolds. As Higuchi dies with a demonic smirk on his pale face.

At the same time, a woman's scream is admitted from a computer in the back of helicopter. Both young men turn to see what has happened, and are shocked at what they see.

The computer, which had been set up so L could keep an eye on Misa Amane back at the headquarters, shows the girl unconscious, her body limp, and a dead expression on her face while tied to the chair.

"Misa?!" Ratio screams as more chaos corrupts the plan L had so carefully set in motion.

Moments later, L jumps out of the helicopter, and tries to investigate the atrocious scene.

"Any piece of evidence that Higuchi had..was destroyed." Sochirou proclaims sadly.

L curls his pale hands into fists. His eyes show no emotion to the untrained eye, but Raito can see the rage fueling them, the pain, the anger, and the despair.

"Then...we shall wait to see what happens next. If no murders are committed, then we must assume Kira is gone. That this case is solved." The detective says in a monotone.

"You mean..you don't suspect me anymore?" Raito questions innocently.  
"I cannot say. You most certainly couldn't have killed Higuchi, I would have seen it. Nor could you have killed Misa for the same reason."

"What?! Amane is dead too?!" Aizawa is shocked by the shocking news.  
"I'll explain when he return to the headquarters."

And he did. The whole Task Force is amazed at what happened to the young starlet, and each member feels helpless. But L didn't show any emotion towards the young woman's death. Oh, he did feel bad she died, like any human being would. But the raven was more concerned with how this case was to end.

And the case did end. About a week and a half later, when no criminals or police or innocent people were killed, L proclaimed the case closed, to his unhappiness of course. Two of his three suspects were dead, and the other one showed no signs of killing or guiltiness. He couldn't hold him on suspcion alone anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. There was no way that Raito could have killed Misa or Higuchi, because L would have had to witnessed it. Even if Raito did kill Misa and/or Higuchi, L still would have noticed a change in expression or thought or wording..**something** during that time in the helicopter.

At the end of the second week after Higuchi and Misa's deaths, the Task Force began to pack up their belongings and were beginning to leave the headquarters. Still, no criminals had been killed, and part of L was glad that Kira hadn't returned. But, he was still upset that Kira had vanished this way. He would have rather seen him behind bars or on death row.

"I shall be going into hiding again to work on other cases, and I thank you all for the support you've given me." L said in his normal monotone as he shook every person's hand. "If Kira somehow, through some way, returns, I will be contacting you again. But I believe that is not going to happen."

As he was walking out the door, L heard someone call after him.  
"Ryuzaki!"  
Said man turned to see Raito looking at him, an odd expression on his face that L couldn't place.  
"Yes, Raito-kun?"

A faint pink tint settled on the young man's tan cheeks, and his eyes were cast downward, and he didn't answer the older man's question.

"Did you need something, Raito-kun?"  
"Oh...well...so..you're leaving?"

"That would be correct, Raito."  
Raito nodded turning somewhat more pink at the loss of the honorific, and continued, "So...will I ever see you again?"

"Perhaps. Many cases happen in Japan, Raito. I'm sure we'll run into each other one day in the future."  
"Yeah..." Ryuzaki began to walk away, and Raito called out again, "Ryuzaki.."

"Hm?"  
"Just...take care, okay?"

The raven-haired man nodded, and walked out the headquarters door, and didn't look back...

Now, here he was, overlooking the Paris streets, thinking of what was to come. Kira hadn't returned at all during the past five months. No unusual murders had taken place, except for the ones going on in France that L was working on, but he knew Kira had no ties to the case. In fact, he was just about to finish up on this particular case. He knew who the murderer was, and he was just working on wrapping up a way he could be caught. And unknown to L, Kira wouldn't return. Ever. The notebook Raito had buried was never dug up again, nor would he ever touch the piece of Death Note he'd hidden in his watch, and the pieces that had been in his wallet were long gone, due to the wallet being thrown out by his mother when it was nearly destroyed by one of Sayu's "accidents".

L felt a familiar pain in his chest again. Every time he thought of the way he left the headquarters that faithful day, his heart ached like it never had before. And he knew why.

"Raito..." He whispered to himself. Why? Why did this happen? And since it did happen, why couldn't he have just confessed his feelings?

It was true, L realized that he'd come to fall in love with the man. Why...oh, he knew why. That man..that man was just like him in almost every way. Smart. Demanding. Manipulative. A seeker of justice. Raito was sometimes just as crazy as he was too. And it didn't hurt that Raito had the body men and women drooled over.

Not that **L** was one of those people...although he'd thought about that body alot. Too much for his own good, in his opinion. But the duo had shared many moments together. Even though L hadn't meant it at first, Raito had been his first true friend. And now..he was his first true love.

"But nothing will happen now. I lost the chance that I had to say anything." L whispered to himself.

"Ryuzaki?" Came Watari's voice from the doorway. "Something wrong?"  
"Hm? Oh..oh it is nothing, Watari. Thank you for the cake." He said as the older gentleman placed the confectionary on the table.

"Are you sure? Is there anything you want to talk about?"  
"No...nothing that can be resolved with talking, I am afraid."

Watari nodded, and began to walk out the door when he heard the younger man sigh again as he looked out the window. He had an idea of what was troubling his young detective, but he didn't want to say. He had a "paternal instinct" that everything would be resolved eventually. He just figured it was a hunch.

L walked away from the window and headed back towards his laptop. And as he began to type again, he had no idea, that thousands of miles away, a certain brunette was thinking of him, thinking of him so much that it hurt. Thinking so much of him that that said brunette was going to figure out a way to meet up with the raven-haired man again, even if it was the last thing he did...

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART II


	2. Driving, Flying, Hoping & Getting To You

A/N: Yay

A/N: Yay! Thanks for all of the alerts and the reviews! You guys are so nice. Anyway, here's part two. Letting you know now that there's some very cute fluffy moments. I still don't own DN, and I don't own "Drive to You" by Jewel, a favorite song of mine.

_Tonight I have the strangest feeling  
Look for answers on a hotel ceiling  
When did my heart first feel this way?  
Being alone used to be just fine.  
Now life without you is just passing time._

I thought I heard you call my name.  
Reached for you're hand, it was in vein.  
When you're here, it feels like a hole in my chest.  
Get dressed, look in the mirror, say  
"You're heart will never be the same."

So I drive to you tonight  
I was blind, now I have sight.  
I could not leave you even if I tried.  
You're heart beats inside of me.  
Like a star in the dark of night,  
Like birds lost in flight.  
The clouds in the sky are blue  
I belong with you.

I've been together, but alone.  
I've made love without love being shown.  
I've seen sorrow in a pair of dice,  
All things that came in two's made me cry  
Until tonight.

So I drive to you tonight  
I was blind, now I have sight.  
I could not leave you even if I tried.  
You're heart beats inside of me.  
Like a star in the dark of night,  
Like birds lost in flight.  
The clouds in the sky are blue  
I belong with you.

Can't stop, won't stop.  
Love is all we've got  
Know how much I love ya  
When I put my arms around you  
Can't stop, won't stop  
You are all I want

So I drive to you tonight  
I was blind, now I have sight.  
I could not leave you even if I tried.  
You're heart beats inside of me.  
Like a star in the dark of night,  
Like birds lost in flight.  
The clouds in the sky are blue, yea  
The clouds in the sky are blue  
I belong with you

The darkness was the first thing the brunette noticed when he had opened his eyes...for the third time that night. Unfortunately, the man with the light brown hair and chocolate eyes couldn't sleep this peaceful night, where the stars were shining, the moon was glowing, and the slow traffic was passing by his home.

As Raito Yagami stared at the clock for the third time, which read 3:21 by the way, he sighed despondently, and began to stare up at the ceiling.

_Damn him...damn him for making me feel this..._ But how could one damn the person they love? Raito knew that in his heart of hearts, no one was to blame for this but himself.

_If only...If only I'd said something..._ 'If only' seemed to be a phrase Raito had thought very frequently for the past five months. And what Raito was referring to was his last encounter with the famous detective (no, the famous **three** detectives...) L, Coil, and Danuve.

_"Ryuzaki!"_

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

A pause of silence as Raito couldn't come to grips with his emotions...

"Did you need something, Raito-kun?"  
"Oh...well...so..you're leaving?"

"That would be correct, Raito."  
"So...will I ever see you again?"

"Perhaps. Many cases happen in Japan, Raito. I'm sure we'll run into each other one day in the future."  
"Yeah..." Ryuzaki began to walk away, and Raito called out again, "Ryuzaki.."

"Hm?"  
"Just...take care, okay?"  


Those had been Raito's final words, and he'd regretted it. No, not that he'd regretted speaking them. It was that he hadn't said more.

Oh what he wanted to say! What he wished he'd said to that raven-haired man. Unknown to said raven-haired man, the Yagami boy had become very attached to him. Strike that, attachment wasn't the proper wording for this emotion. **Love** could be the only word that could describe it.

Raito sat up in his bed, running a tan hand through the brown locks. Yes, love. And it had snuck up on him. But didn't love do that with every being in this world?

When he'd first met the man, he knew he wasn't in love with him. Ryuzaki confused him, with his weird eccentricities (and there were many of those) but at the same time, the older male had sent chills up his spine that could be called admiration, for the brunette, without a doubt, admired his colleague. He was intelligent far beyond his years, and Raito had not been surprised when he'd learned that the man was L.

L...that alias alone used to only send the feeling of admiration to Raito's mind. Now, Raito associated that name with the words 'friend', 'companion', 'co-worker', and even 'lust'.

Raito had become friends with the man, but that wasn't a surprise. Though he had been suspected of Kira by the man, and had been accused on a regular basis, Raito had actually come to enjoy the man's company. The brunette could actually have an intelligent conversation of just about anything with Ryuzaki. And he had to admit that they got along quite well when they weren't fighting about something idiotic. The older man could even be very funny, even when he wasn't trying. And his quirks made him unique, and sometimes down right cute.

As for 'co-worker', they'd solved one of the most difficult cases **together**. As in, they'd worked as a team. Even though Raito had been a suspect for most of the time, he'd been able to prove that he wasn't the mass murder known as Kira. It was true that Raito believed some things Ryuzaki had said could attain to him, and that there were some glitches in his memory, he knew he wasn't Kira! He would remember if he'd killed that many people; any person would! And they'd been able to prove it as a team. And the biggest barrier separating Ryuzaki and Raito had finally been broken down with them solving the case.

Oh, and 'lust'...in Raito's mind, there wasn't anything not sexy about that man. Ryuzaki couldn't see how good-looking he really was. Raito guessed it was a long-standing self-esteem issue, but if Raito had gotten the chance, he'd have shown that sweets-addict otherwise. He would show him how he could make anyone turned on by that thin body of his. Because that was what happened to Raito.

After he'd meet the man and started working with Ryuzaki, it had only begun as passing glances. Then it escalated to "accidental" touches, or sometime touches that had been meant for the man to feel and purposely acknowledge. Then the dreams and visions came...and Raito could feel his face heat up even when the raven was looking right through him towards someone else. Raito hadn't been able to stop the lust and desire that had consumed his body and mind and soul. Nor did he want to...

But it wasn't just lust. It was love, because all of these emotions put together equaled one thing: love. Raito wanted the man to be happy, to not feel pain, to have a successful life, to experience pleasure (hopefully with him), to have someone there to care for him (again, hopefully him). All of this and the feelings Raito felt could only be described as love.

"And yet..he's gone..." Raito whispered to the darkness, where no one could hear the sorrow in his voice. Raito knew, if he'd just said something. **Anything** to that man as he'd left, things would be different. They could hopefully be together, or maybe the brunette would be working for him? The options would be endless.

And everywhere Raito went, memories of Ryuzaki filled and bubbled in his mind. To-Oh University, the city, the cafe, anywhere! If he and Ryuzaki had been there, there was some memory. Especially at the university...

Raito knew he wouldn't be getting back to sleep anytime soon (he hadn't slept well in the past five months), so he flicked on the small TV in his room to a late-night news show.

The story was of a mass-murdering spree in Paris, France, and Raito watched it somewhat interested, since he'd heard about this case before over the past few months. There had been seven aristocrats killed within the past month, and there had been few leads. The newscaster said that almost no one was able to help the French government with this bizarre case. But then, that news man said something that caught Raito's attention.

"...But there are rumors about that the famous 'L' may be leading an investigation, but that is also unknown and can't be verified."

Raito's eyes grew wide at the man's words. _Of course!...Why didn't I think of this sooner?!..._

L. Of course, he'd moved on to other cases. That Raito imagined, and he should have also remembered the fact that L only helped on larger, harder cases. He knew it wasn't certain, but he had a hunch L was there in Paris.

Raito got up out of bed, but stopped. What could **he** do? One, Paris was a very big city. Chances of finding the detective were small and slim. Two, L would probably freak out if he did find him. And three..maybe L didn't want to see him anymore.

Raito shook his head. This may be his last chance to tell how he felt to the other male. That he was so madly in love with him that he couldn't live without him. That he needed him. Yes, it was out of Raito's normal personality, but he didn't care. Normality, logic, and pride had taken a permanent vacation when he'd met L.

So, Raito packed a suitcase full of necessities, wrote a note for his family saying he had urgent business to attend to out of Japan and that he'd contact them in a few days, grabbed some money, and headed out the door. Time wouldn't wait forever for him, and neither would L.

OooOOOOOOooOOOooOOoo

"Watari? Are you back yet?" L called into the microphone. He'd sent the older man out for cake about an hour ago to the nearest pastry shop, and he hadn't returned yet. The sweets-addict was getting quite worried.

L sighed again, and looked over the files for the fortieth time that day. Boredom was falling onto his mind; this case was almost over. But it was nice for the public to think otherwise thanks to the media. If they knew the truth, that it was almost solved, the murderer may strike again.

Then...his cell phone rang.

"Watari? You've returned."  
"Sorry, L. It's not Watari." A chuckle was emitted from the other line.

L knew that voice. Knew it as just as well as he knew his own.  
"R-Raito-kun? Is that you?" Great, the Magnificent L just stuttered. L **never** stuttered.

"Hai! How are you?" The younger male was acting like they had just spoken to each other, instead of five months ago.  
"Um..I am well. But Raito, how-"  
"Oh, your number? Well, you gave it to me, but I lost it at first. I guess it got deleted from my phone or something. Then I found it on a piece of paper in my room. Funny, huh?"

"Um..yes? Raito, this is very dangerous. I shouldn't be having this conversation-"  
"Don't worry, I won't be long. Can you do something for me though?"

"I suppose so, Raito. What?"  
"Turn around."

"What? Raito, is this a game? I am really not in the mood."  
"Just do it, Ryuzaki."

L sighed, and began to oblige. "Fine, fine, but can you tell me-"  
He gasped, and the phone fell from his two finger grip. His eyes grew wide, and his mouth hung open. He figured that he looked like an idiot, but he didn't care.

Because there stood the man he'd just been talking to, the man he'd been constantly thinking about for the past five months. The man he was in love with.

Since shock overtook him, all he could whisper was "Raito..."

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3


	3. I Found You Again

Silence vibrated off the hotel walls as the two men stood there; one man's eyes wide as the full moon, the others' lighted up with mischief and happiness

A/N: Hello again! Here's an update for you, and I don't believe this will be the last chapter. I'll put in an epilogue and maybe another chapter before that, since the winner of my Kiriban on Deviant Art asked if it could be longer. And you can't deny someone who gives you this icon, and who's also a good friend of mine: TT . So stay tuned for more, and reviews are welcomed!

Lyrics are: You Found Me-Kelly Clarkson. I don't own the song or Death Note!

OOOoooOOOOooO

Is this a dream  
If it is  
Please don't wake me from this high  
I'd become comfortably numb  
Until you opened up my eyes  
To what it's like  
When everything's right  
I can't believe

You found me  
When no one else was looking  
How did you know just where I would be  
Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

OooOOOooOOOOOooo

Silence vibrated off the hotel walls as the two men stood there; one man's eyes wide as the full moon, the others' lighted up with mischief and happiness.

"W-what are you doing here, Raito?" L asked, voice shaking, a surprise for the younger male.

"I'm here to see you, of course." Raito stated with a smirk, "Why else would I be here?"

"Um..yes. But...how in the world did you find me?" L could feel his heartbeat speed up, and his breathing picked up momentum as well. _How...? Why...? And...have you been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking about you...?_

"Good question, and yes, you do deserve an explanation, so let's sit down and I'll tell you."

L nodded towards a plush, checkered chair, and Raito sat himself down. L followed suit, claiming the clean, white couch.

"Well, I heard about the case here that was going on here in Paris, and I had a hunch you'd be here. Your love of high-profile cases and all! My hunch was confirmed even more when the media had said that rumors were going around that you were working on the case. So, I packed up my bags and flew out here. Once I got here, I figured you were staying in the most expensive hotels in Paris, so I asked around for which ones were the most expensive, in the closest vicinity to the crime scenes I may add, since I knew you'd want to be near by and I also looked around for the best sweets shops too, since you love them so much also, and I found five."

"Did you go to all of the other hotels until you came to this one?" L tried to hide the shock that was in his mind and soul, and he actually was able to; his tone was his normal monotone.

Raito shook his head, "Well, I was going to if it came to that..." Here, Raito noticed a faint pink tint settled on L's cheeks, "But I didn't have to. I actually ran into Watari when I was searching for you."

"Watari? Where?" L questioned, his voice was now taking on a surprised tone.

"I saw him at the café two blocks from here, buying your cakes. We talked, he was surprised to see me too, but I explained why I was here, so he let me come see you. He seems to like me more now that I'm not a suspect anymore."

"Yes..." L trailed off, eyes wandering to the ceiling. "But it is dangerous for you to be here with me. There is a reason I go into hiding and all. Plus, I am very busy Raito."

Raito sighed, running a hand through his auburn locks. _Maybe this was a bad idea...he honestly doesn't feel the same way..._

"So, it was bad for me to come? Should I leave?"

_No, absolutely not! No! I mean, yes! Push him away; push him away now so you don't get hurt. But he's here! And he came all this way, I wonder if he actually__** does**__...no..no... no use getting your hopes up Lawliet, just don't..he-_

"Ryuzaki? Are you alright?" Raito snapped L out of his mental debate, and L hadn't noticed that the brunette had seated himself next to the raven-haired man. The detective found the room's temperature spike, and he stared at young man next to him.

"Yes, I am alright. I-I'm just surprised, that's all. I guess you can stay for the time being, if you wish. You did come all this way. But can you at least tell me why you came, Raito-kun? I know you wished to see me, but-"

"Yes, there is more to it than that. I wanted to tell you something."

"Something you could not have told me over the phone, Raito-kun?"

Raito shook his head, "Nope. And I lied about losing your number. I...I just didn't call you."

"Oh?" L hoped he hid the disappointment in his voice well. "Well, that is all right I suppose."

"But I have a good reason! It's the same reason for me coming here, and it's what I have to tell you."

L looked at the younger man curiously, but he didn't expect the next few moments to ever happen. Never happen in the following days, months, years, or even his entire lifetime.

Raito firmly, but quickly, placed a hand into the ebony locks and forced the older man's face to his. The brunette crashed his lips onto the detective's, earning a startled gasp from the older man. The younger male began to caress L's lips with his own, his brown eyes closed from the pleasure. L's, on the other hand, were wide-open with pure, unfiltered shock. Raito licked the lips, savoring the sweet, delectable taste, and, with his tongue, asked for permission to deepen the kiss.

L again felt the temperature spike to abnormal heights, and he knew that he could either end the kiss now, and push away and destroy any hope he had, thereby protecting himself from hurt. Or...he could take option two. Open up, possibly get hurt, or experience total bliss.

The older man quickly thought of how Watari had told him the day before that one day, he would more than likely meet that one special person whom he could share happiness with, and that he needed to take any chance he had. The raven-haired male wondered if Watari's parental instincts knew what he had been feeling for the past few weeks and months, or if the senior had taken a guess as to L's predicament. Either way, L knew his answer.

That is why L allowed the brunette's tongue to enter and caress him even more, and the sweets-addict deepened the lustful kiss. Both men broke away a moment later, the need for air becoming too much.

"Is..that...what you had...to tell..me?" L spoke between pants.

"Yes..but..also..."

Raito moved as close as he could to the detective, so that the two were nose to nose. The brunette placed a lone finger on L's chin, gently lifting it no more than a few centimeters.

"I think...no..." He whispered, trailing off, "I know...that I'm in love with you."

L gasped at the younger man's words. Some darker, colder part of him screamed "Don't believe him, it's a lie.", but L was beginning to push that part of him away. That was the old him, the never-to-trust-anyone part of him. But...that look in Raito's eyes...it shone bright with sincerity and compassion. Yes, he wouldn't be so trusting of others, it was his nature and always would be. But Raito...the young man had something about him that any person could believe in. Even L, who had never believed in any person besides Watari and a few, selected others.

Maybe that's why L jumped at Raito, capturing his lips with his own. Or it could be the fact that maybe the great detective was losing his normally sane mind, that possibility wasn't too out at left field was it? Maybe it was a combination of both? Hell, he didn't care anymore. Logical thinking went out the door, and out of the building when Raito called him moments before.

L entwined his hands in the auburn locks as he pulled away, for he had one last question on his mind.

"Why..why me?" The raven-haired man whispered.

Raito smirked at the comment, and a small chuckle escaped him.

"Why? Because...you and I..well, it's a little hard to explain, but in short, **L**, you completely understand me. We're more alike than we probably even realize. We have a bond, I'm sure you agree about that right? And..it also helps that you're sexy." Light smiled again, and he now captured the sweets-lover's lips for the second time, causing a gasp from the older male.

L wrapped his legs around the brunette's waist, grinding into him. A chorus of moans erupts as the passionate kiss ensues. Light's hands become buried in L's wild, ebony locks, and L does the same to Light's silk-like strands of hair.

As the brunette moves his mouth down the raven's neck, kissing the pallid, but oh so smooth skin, small mewls and sighs of pleasure escaped the older male. Raito smirked inwardly. He'd never guessed that L was this vocal when it came to anything, especially anything sexual. If this was how he was acting when Raito was just kissing him...the brunette couldn't wait to see what sound or movement came from L next. This especially when any noise turned the brunette on even more.

Raito began to suck at a spot on the thin neck, eliciting a moan from L. Lithe, bony hands wrapped around Raito's waist, and said man began to grind into the older male. The brunette stopped his pleasuring for a moment, and lifted his head, locking his glazed over with lust eyes with L's.

"So...I'm guessing this means you **don't** want me to leave now, right?"

L stared at the younger male above him, and just shook his head mutely. Raito thought he was so cute when he was at a loss for words.

"I didn't think so." He replied, placing a chaste kiss on the detective. But he then turned his gaze to their surrounding area. The couch wouldn't be as comfortable for what Raito planned to do with the older male. And he knew that L wanted the exact same thing that he did.

"Where's the bedroom?" The brunette whispered seductively in L's ear. The older male lifted a finger and pointed towards an open room.

Seconds later, Raito lifted L bridal style and carried him into the room. He wasn't surprised to see a king-sized bed with what seemed to be the finest sheets money could buy. Really, where did L get his money? But the whole concept of currency wasn't on Raito's mind at the moment...

OoOoOOOO OooOOOooOOoo

Clothes were discarded in moments, and pleasure from skin touching skin sent shocks down both spines of the two men, who were caught up in a heated kiss. Raito's hands were buried in L's locks again as he broke away from the pale lips, trailing butterfly kisses down the thin neck, and firmer kisses when he reached the pale chest. He took a lone nipple into his pale mouth, another in his tan hand, and L let out a delicious moan.

"R-Raito..."

"I never would have pictured you to be so eager when it came to things like this, L." Raito chuckled to himself.

"Yes...but...wait a second, Raito."

Raito lifted his head from L's chest and gazed at the man, "Something wrong, L?"

L shook his head, "No...it's just..." He trailed off, and brought his bony hands to Raito's face. He gently pulled the younger male closer, close enough so he could whisper in his ear.

"I..I believe that I feel the same way you do..." L whispered. "I..I cannot be one-hundred percent sure, Raito Yagami, but I feel that I may have fallen in love with you as well."

Raito stared at the older male before him, and he could see how hard it was for L to say what he'd just said. The man that never opened up to any one, any being, was laying his heart on the line for **him**, Raito Yagami. And even though L said he wasn't completely positive that he was in love with him, Raito could see some spark in those dark eyes that hadn't been there before. Well, he'd seen that look before, but not since the last time L and he had been together working on the Kira case. And that look...only when L and him had been talking or doing something together had L's eyes held that "sparkle" that they did now. And Raito knew that that look had to mean something.

He placed a small kiss on L's lips, smiling, and whispered "I never thought you of all people would say something like that."

"I am not exactly social nor verbal Raito, I figured you'd know that by now."

"Yes, I do know that, L." The brunette smiled, "And...do you want to go any further? Because I don't think I can contain or control myself anymore."

L blinked, in surprise at Raito's question, and as well as the fact that he was still getting over the shock that Raito wanted to be with him, nodded in reply. He then reached over to the nightstand and opened the small drawer, tossing a bottle of lube over to the younger male.

Raito gave him a questioning look, "Um...why-"

"Watari gave it to me a few months ago when I was still working on the Kira case. He said, "To be prepared just in case". I wonder if he was trying to play "match-maker"."

L wondered aloud.

The brunette laughed as he coated his fingers with the substance. He too believed the senior was trying to set him and L up, or Watari believed the two younger males were incapable of coming together on their own. Whatever the case, he was grateful for the older man.

"This is going to hurt, but I promise you, you'll be alright."

L nodded, and Raito gently inserted his pointer finger, calmly stretching the tight muscle. The raven let out a hiss of pain as he tried to get used to the sensation and the new intrusion. But a louder groan of agony came from him as Raito put in a second and third finger.

But seconds later, pain was replaced with a feeling of ecstasy and L moaned as those small appendages pleasured his body. This feeling he never wanted it to go away, but Raito pulled the fingers out a moment later, causing L to actually whimper in distress.

Raito hoisted L's legs onto his shoulders and readied himself. He silently tilted his head in question, to which L nodded. Raito slowly pushed himself in, showing great self-control in his opinion, letting L get used to the feeling.

And it took a few moments for the raven-haired man to get used to the feeling indeed. He let out a small scream of pain, feeling as if he was being torn in two.

"Shh..it's alright. Just breathe." Raito whispered, one of his hands smoothing L's dark locks.

L did, and the pain began to disperse. "Move Raito..." He whispered to the man above him.

Choruses of moan erupted again as Raito moved in and out, causing L to begin to see nothing but pure bliss in his eyes, which were glazed over completely with lust. Raito grabbed onto L's own member and began to gently stroke it, causing L to scream his name.

It was both their first time, both knew they wouldn't last much longer. And Raito hit L's prostate, completely making the man see stars and feel more shocks of pleasure.

"God...don't stop Raito!" He screamed with no qualms of trying to show control.

Pleasure was hitting both men from all fronts, and when L arched his back another time, he leant up, wrapping his arms around Raito's neck.

"L...L!"

The detective smiled as another moan escaped his pale, thin lips.

"It's Lawliet, koibito." He whispered to Raito, a chuckle escaping him.

The younger male gasped at the realization, and screamed the man below him's real name, who in turn screamed his own in a fit of passion.

Both came not a second later, and both became enveloped in a heat and happiness no one can ever describe.

OoOOoOooOoOOoo

"That's your name, huh?"

"Hai. You don't sound very surprised."

"No, I'm not. I figured it started with an 'L'. But I do like it very much by the way."

L blushed again. "Thank you, Raito."

"Oh, and 'koibito'? Now I'm your **sweetheart**?"

"Raito-kun doesn't like that nickname? Would he prefer tenshi or tenshi-kun?"

"Uh, **no**."

"I didn't believe so."

"My aren't you a genius, **Lawli-chan**." Sarcasm dripped from the younger male.

"So is Rai-chan." The sarcasm was lost on the older male. "It is quite warm in this bed, isn't it?"

"Hai. But I don't mind. You?"

"No, of course not. I quite enjoy the warmth. Though, before...it was never this warm."

"What do you mean?"

"It was cold before, when I used to lay in this bed by myself. I don't sleep much, but Watari would force me into bed to at least rest. But it was quite lonely and cold before."

"..."

"Something wrong Raito?"

The younger male brought the detective closer to him, placing his nose to the ebony locks.

"If you'll allow me to, I'll make sure, just for you, that this bed isn't cold and lonely any more."

"...Yes, Raito. I will most certainly allow that."

OOOoooOOOOooOO

A/N: Awww... and yay, lemon goodness! XD

Anyway, I've decided to write an epilogue for this next, so I hope you all will read that too. Reviews are more than welcomed, and thanks for reading up to this point!


	4. Epilogue: Coming Home

A/N: Well, here's the last chapter

A/N: Well, here's the last chapter. More like an epilogue, I guess. Call it what you will, here it is!

BTW, I feel the same way about reviews as L does about candy...XD

I don't own L or Light or Death Note...I can dream though! :)

OOoOOoOOOOOOOOoooOoo OoOoOOOO

I'm staring out into the night,  
Trying to hide the pain.  
I'm going to the place where love  
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.  
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,  
The closer I get to you.  
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.  
But your love remains true.  
And I don't know why.  
You always seem to give me another try.

Oh, well I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old.  
I said these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
I'm going home.

OooOOOOooooOOOOOOOOo

_**17 days later, Barcelona, Spain... **_

"No, Watari, I have total faith in Raito-kun. No, I know he won't go into a frustrated rage at the witness and throw a tea cup on the ground again like last time. Yes, I am positive! This person is of the **female** persuasion, and Raito would never...no, he **wouldn't **Watari. Really, you and your mind...I swear. Yes, the strawberry cake if you please. Yes, in five minutes, that would be fine. Thank you." L shut his phone off with a sigh just as Raito entered the room, quietly shutting the door.

"You're late, Raito. I though you said you'd be done with the interview of Miss Sofía Cadel at eight. It is now exactly eight forty-two and thirteen seconds."

"You were right about her though! She talked-no, **sobbed** my ears off. Really, I am sorry for her loss, and I'm sympathetic when it comes to catching her husband's killer and rapist, but...when she doesn't stop crying and she can barely give descriptions, it's really hard on the mind and body." The brunette sighed as he plopped down on the couch next to his lover.

"Hai...but Raito knows why I asked him to come work with me. You know how, um...not social I am."

"You bet I do! I know no one who's as anti-social as you are."

L tried to shoot him a raging glare, but the way it came off wasn't fueled with anger at all. More like mundane annoyance. Raito laughed at how the detective tried to be angry, but how the man's look just came off as adorable. Oh, he's seen the man mad before, and he knew when to fear the martial-arts expert; though he knew that when those dark orbs held more annoyance than anger there was nothing to fear but an extra dosage of cuteness from the raven-haired man.

The brunette scooted closer to the older male, who was still typing at his laptop, and rested his head on L's shoulder, giving a content sigh, closing his light chocolate eyes.

"I'm still not happy that Raito is late."

"Hm, what do you mean? I didn't know she'd keep me so long. And you even **knew **that that was a possibility!"

"Yes, but Watari and I were worried that Raito could have thrown another cup at his witness, and thereby-"

"Hey. That was **one** time, a **week **ago. Really, ever hear of moving on, Lawliet?"

"Hm..." L turned his gaze towards the ceiling, "No."

"...Thanks. That's really nice to know."

"To be honest, Raito, Watari was more worried about your behavior than I was. I had total faith in you."

Raito open one eye somewhat, "Really?" He asked, his tone showing he wasn't holding his breath.

"Well..." L trailed off again, "Perhaps I was a little concerned."

"Again, thanks L."

"You're welcome koibito." L shone a smile that even though Raito couldn't see, he could tell it was plastered on the pale man's face due to his more joyful tone.

"What did I say about calling me 'sweetheart'?" Raito's eyes shot open quickly.

"That you enjoy it and love it and I should call you it every day?" L tilted his head cutely, finger in its proper place on his pale, thin lips.

Raito smirked, a more dominating gleam taking over his eyes. Instantly, the brunette pounced on the older male, sending the sweets-lover on his back on the plush cushions of the couch with a yelp of surprise.

"Wrong answer, tenshi." Raito growled huskily, and the air in the room became thick and heavy with lust.

L smiled as Raito pulled him into a slow, deep passionate kiss. A tan hand took its normal place in the ebony locks. The younger male felt L place a hand on his waist and another in his own hair. The two lovers tasted each other, sweet tastes invading their senses, and dulling their minds to everything else but each other.

L broke away for air, a small smile on his lips. "Does Raito want to know the real reason why I was concerned with his tardiness?"

"Wow, you have an** actual **and** real **reason? Hm...no, I don't care to know." Raito leant in towards the other man to continue the kiss, but L placed his hand on the pink lips, stopping the horny, younger male from ravishing him.

"I was concerned with Raito's tardiness because I believed there is something he promised me, something that we would do tonight."

Raito blinked, and then his eyes lowered in a lazy, but lust-filled manner.

"Hmm...I don't seem to remember, L," He leant in closer to the ebony raven, "Please remind me. Now."

"Hehe...Raito's so dominating, even when he's not supposed to be."

L pushed Raito back onto the couch, straddling the younger man's hips while he fiercely shot his lips onto the brunette's. Raito groaned as the detective began to grind into him, and a strong hand from the young man's body gripped L's thin waist.

L trailed his mouth down Raito's neck, butterfly kisses blooming on the tan skin, their warmth sending shockwaves through the younger male.

"Ah...Ryuu..L..La-" Raito moaned as L's bony fingers trailed down his chest, down towards his slacks.

"I love it when Raito-kun cannot even form distinguishable words and sentences. It is quite arousing." L whispered, his dark orbs of eyes shining with a swirl of emotions. Emotions moving so fast, the untrained eye would not be able to catch them.

L moved his head towards Raito's left ear, and began to succulently lick the outer rim. Slowly, his tongue worked its magic, sending pleasure to both men. Raito moaned again, while L smirked against the skin of the man he desired so.

The raven-haired man stopped for a moment, pulling his head back to clap his hands; in seconds, the few lights that had been on shut immediately off. Only the beautiful moon over the Spanish city shone into the room, the pale moon beams reflecting off both men, each thinking the light truly made the other look even more gorgeous, if that was possible. Raito especially thought this about his significant other; there was just something about L that when he shone in the moonlight, it made him look more mysterious. And it made the brunette crave him even more.

"That's better, isn't it, koibito?" L softly giggled as he returned to continuing his ministrations on his lover's ear.

"Nng...Ah, L!"

"Yes, Raito. Keep calling me...you know we both like it."

L trailed his lips down Raito's neck again, and was slowly beginning to unbutton the man's dress shirt. Really, why did he have to wear such complicated clothes?

"La..Lawliet..." Raito whispered through his harsh panting, and he saw L visibly shiver at the huskily way the brunette had said his name.

"Ah, Raito wishes I take him here then?"

A slow nod came from the other male underneath him; Raito was too overcome with pleasure to say anything.

"And he wishes it to be hard and fast?" L whispered when he said this, his hot breath trickling out onto Raito's skin.

Again, Raito nodded mutely. More quickly this time though.

"Very well, then," A dark, but to Raito, very sexy, laugh came from the sweets-lover's lips, "I will-"

But L was cut off when the lights snapped on, and a cough was heard from behind them.

"I hope I am not interrupting anything, but your cake, Ryuzaki." Watari said, holding the delicate, fruity and sweet pastry on a silver platter, daintily in his gloved hand.

"Ah! Thank you Watari. But I must say your timing is terrible." L hopped off Raito, and strolled over to receive his snack. The old guardian of the detective bowed, and exited the room, firmly shutting the door.

Raito blinked multiple times at the sight of his lover seating himself at the desk in the hotel room. L took a fork from the drawer and began to heartily eat the small cake.

"Um...hello?" Raito called, "Did you forget something?!"

L turned, his eyes wide, and frosting on his chin. "Oh, Raito, you know that I cannot continue if I am hungry, which I am. Also, I cannot let this cake go to waste."

"Go to waste? How long could we be? An hour? Two? We **do** take breaks between bouts of your 'sexual romps' that you have with me, you know." Raito questioned incredulously.

"Raito, this cake is at its peak of freshness at this point, I must consume it. And besides Raito...when I'm horny **and** hungry, I can get quite grumpy. And you don't like me when I'm grumpy, remember."

"You get grumpy when your just plain horny!"

"Hai...but Raito should know that is only because of him." L gave a small smile, and the brunette groaned as he fixed his clothes and hair.

But a smile came to his face immediately after as he look onward at his lover. He'd never had guessed L would actually request him to come work with him permanently so they could be together. It really was a dream that came true. He could see the world, solve cases with the world's best detective, and have a love life with said detective too.

The brunette couldn't remember a time when he'd been this happy. And Kira...thank Kami he was gone; for good this time. And L had never even made one more comment about the murder and that case, and Raito couldn't be happier about that as well.

The younger male got off the couch and went over to the eating raven, embracing him, and laying his head on the thin shoulder.

"Thank you..." Raito whispered.

"Hm? For what Raito?" L asked with a mouth full of cake.

"This...everything...you. You especially." Raito said with a smile.

L tilted his head in confusion, his eyes large and shining. "What does-"

"I mean...never mind, I don't need to explain. Just..thank you, L."

L opened his mouth to speak again, but he was starting to begin to realize what Raito's actions meant.

"You are most welcome, Raito. But all of that is nothing that needs thanks. **He** is gone, **you **are here, and **we** are happy."

"Hm..."

"And I suppose Raito and I could continue our little 'sexual romp' if he so wishes. Though I feel that they shouldn't be called 'romps', and-"

"Shut up and kiss me L."

L chuckled, and turned, and placed his hands on Raito's face.

"You didn't even need to ask, koibito." L smirked, as he loved teasing his lover with what Raito called 'the annoying pet name'.

"Hey, L. What did I say-" The brunette was cut off as L placed a chaste kiss on his own lips.

"Raito-kun should be silent, for I am about to please him while I am leaving one-half of this delicious cake to go stale or loose its flavor."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll buy you another one. Or..." Raito picked up the cake as he stood, "We could bring it with us." He whispered the last part seductively.

"Well, it would not be the first time we've used sweets in that manner, so why not?"

L stood up, and grabbed the brunette's hand, pulling him rather forcefully into their private bedroom. He made sure to tell Watari to not disturb him for the next twelve hours, he would be quite busy. It was always nice how Watari didn't question him.

It was also nice how nothing could come between the two of them any more. Kira and his reign were gone, lost for all eternity. Raito had found the man and companionship and love that he'd long sought; he'd found the equal that he had longed for, but had never had. And L...he'd found exactly the same things. Exactly the same things he and Raito had both lost while growing up in the world.

They'd both lost all of that and more before the Kira case began, and even for a little while after...

But now, long after, and with the help of their hearts, they'd come home to each other... and they'd both found what they lost...

END

A/N: Awww...great, I made myself 'aww' again. I love writing fluff. Anyway, let me know what you thought, and thanks so much for reading this, I'll see you at the next story! :D


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